From what I’ve been able to ascertain the term “Children of Alcoholics” was first coined in 1945, by a psychiatrist who was treating a large number of people suffering from alcoholism. Apparently He began to notice a recurring pattern of family history of alcoholism in one or both parents of the patients.
In the 1970’s the term “Adult Children of Alcoholic’s“ was born and quickly became the buzz in the media and developed into a social movement that swept the country. While I agree it is true that a parent’s drinking absolutely has an impact on their children, and is often traumatic for the kids, and sometimes with lasting maladaptive and negative consequences, I believe that far too often people have taken the whole rationale of: “It’s not my fault because I am a victim of my childhood circumstances and I’m not responsible for the choices I make in life.” I tried and it didn’t work for me. Really poor excuses.
My father was a devout alcoholic and drank daily up until two weeks before his death at the age of 81. And although He and my mother who (did not drink) were to some degree enablers of my addictions in my youth, they were not to blame, they were merely ignorant of how they were contributing. The last thing they would ever do is intentionally harm any of their kids. Every single time I took a drink or drug it was my hands at work right up until the day I decided I had to stop. Just because someone offers you something does not mean you are obligated to accept it. Ultimately each person alone is responsible for what they put in their own body and as such equally responsible for the consequences.
Sadly, from my viewpoint, what that psychiatrist intended for good, in an attempt to quantify the causative factors behind addictive behavior to better reverse the effects of addiction; has done more harm to countless thousands by, relieving them of any responsibility in the bad decisions that are characteristic of all addiction, and consequently, one of the primary steps necessary to reverse, in order for the addict to be successful in recovery.
Unfortunately, this mantra of victimhood has spilled over into many other areas of inappropriate behavior and is manifesting itself in a whole generation of kids, with the net result being increased violence, crime, and acting out. Combining this with the improper notion that there are no moral absolutes and everything is only relative as it pertains to your personal perception of good and evil, is precisely how we end up with knuckleheads like the perpetrator in the Virginia Tech shootings.
I could be wrong, however, I sincerely believe I’m right and since I’m sincere then if I am wrong I’m not responsible right? HMMMM think about it. I hope I didn’t offend too many of you out there but if I got you to think, or maybe even helped someone then I will say it was worth it.
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