To die means to live no more. A person who was identified by a name, a family, a character, a nationality and many lovely values is no more. That person will never be found again on the earth ever again. A neighbor, who you see everyday, can not be found again even if you look for him/her around the earth all your life. What was taken for granted, is not there suddenly. Death has taken the life away.
Sometimes I wonder about soldiers. Most of them are very lovely people. They love not only their friends and family, but also their society. A soldier when not on duty is hurt as much as the rest of us by a death. But the same soldier thinks nothing about killing thousand others who also belong to a nation, a society, a family, a mother, children and wife. This soldier who gets so pained by a single death in his/her neighborhood, has only one object in the war - kill as many enemy soldiers as he can. Bring as much destruction as he/she can to the enemy. The word enemy and the word war change the context of thinking and emotions totally.
Duty cannot be called brutality. But the result is same. So many wars have been fought on the earth that we have lost the count. Still they continue. The killings continue. Nationalities define boundaries and boundaries define friendships or enmity. What a tragedy! Did God draw the borders of nations? They evolved themselves. If we view our earth from the space, we will find it a small dot. No boundaries, no nationalities, only a very small planet. But as we walk on the planet, things change. Loyalties change, and man changes. The result is always death and more of death.
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Condolence letters are considered some of the most difficult letters to write and send because of their very sensitive nature. Even so, when someone close to you is dealing with the loss of a loved one, the grief and bereavement, writing and sending a condolence letter is probably one of the most considerate, kind, and thoughtful things you can do.
We all know that it is in one's highest good to grieve the loss of a relationship. Healthy grief releases feelings rather than allowing them to get stuck in the body. Healthy grief allows the griever to heal the loss and move on with life. Yet grief is not always healing. Many of us have known people who were stuck in their grief, seemingly locked into the past and unable to move forward in their lives.
Have you ever lost someone close to you to death? We go through a grief process that was best described by Elizabeth Kublar-Ross in On Death and Dying. In it she talks about the five stages that people go through---denial and isolation; anger; bargaining; depression and finally acceptance. The dying, as well as those who love them, go through these stages although rarely at the same time and these stages are not predictable.
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