Do The Weird; It Works!

Many times the guys who come to me only do so after years of being deeply stuck when it comes to meeting, attracting and enjoying women.

Throughout those years, they have often spent countless hours trying to "figure out" how they are going to get out of their romantic desert and into the land of moist, pink abundance!

What does not to occur to even the brightest of them is how the "solution" to their problem could be the very thing that is SO different than the way they are thinking, it would never even occur to them!

You see, it is usually the action or way of thinking or BOTH that is so far outside what you are used to doing, that will bring you the results that are way beyond what you are used to GETTING and ENJOYING!

That's why, when students write me and tell me that what I teach seems "weird" or so different and strange that they can't possibly imagine talking this way or imagine women enjoying it and getting turned on by it, my answer is always:

"Fantastic! That is exactly why you SHOULD be doing it! Because what you've BEEN doing clearly HASN'T been working."

As an illustration, here is an email I received from a student who did exactly what I told him to.

He had been stuck being very nervous approaching women and just could NOT get himself to walk up and meet women. He was fine if women were introduced to him, but he could NOT talk to a stranger and was struggling with his "confidence".

First, I explained to him that he was confusing "performance confidence" with "acceptance confidence".

Performance confidence is when you have already done something well many times in the past, so you know, based on experience and skill, you will likely do well again.

Acceptance confidence is simply a matter of giving yourself permission to try something new, even and especially when you don't know what will happen! It's admitting you don't know, being ok with that, and giving things a fun and fair try anyway.

Doesn't that make good sense?

Unfortunately, just UNDERSTADING an idea doesn't mean you'll be able to put it into action!

That is why, in addition to helping him understand, I gave him an absolutely whacked-out drill to do, which totally did the trick as you will find out as you read on:

Ross,

Thank you for the phone consultation, the exercise that you gave me to do is a magic thing. I needed more acceptance confidence and you told me to make four squares divided by a cross and write this on the cement in my barn or somewhere I would read it aloud everyday for 7 days.

The first was "I don't know what's going to happen", the second "Lets go find out" the third "The least that will happen is I will learn something" and the fourth was "And have some fun".

Now before I get out of my house I say this aloud and women just seem to pop up everywhere I go. They really can't tell the difference between acceptance confidence and performance confidence, lucky me. I even had a few women walk up to me now with this new magical exercise.

Thanks,
Wayne "X"

RJ: Actually what I had this guy do was even whackier, nuts and far out than what he described in his email!

I had this guy stand in each square that he drew on the ground. In each square, I had him write one of these four sentences he mentions. Then, I told him as he spoke each piece of writing out loud, to step from one square to the next.

Now, if I told you that doing this would totally erase your fear of approaching women and that women would even sense your new vibe and approach YOU, you would probably, based on your past way of thinking...

...Call Me A Goddamn Lunatic!

And I wouldn't blame you: you probably would never have guessed or even imagined at such a thing as a way out of your approach anxiety and "shyness" because trying to figure out these things as a left-brained, cognitive understanding usually doesn't work.

You see...

It's The Left Brained Thinking That's Probably Keeping You Stuck IN THE FIRST PLACE!

As I have said many times: it is the stuff that seems the strangest, the
weirdest, the most bizarre and out there, the most far off from what
you would have even thought to do that often contains the MOST concentrated, pure leverage for rapid, massive change.

Bottom line: do the weird. It works.

Peace and Piece!

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