I have a friend who often gets herself into various situations that are troublesome to her. When I ask her how she feels about the particular situation she's viewing in the moment, she gives me one of a number of possible negative feelings. When I ask her how she wants to feel, she always answers with the same feeling: "free."
I work with clients who get themselves into a variety of situations that evoke negative feelings. When I ask them how they feel, they answer with the name of one of many possible not-good feelings. When I ask how they want to feel, they usually give an answer that is what we might think of as the exact - or close to the - opposite of the not-good feeling.
To illustrate this: if the not-good feeling is "confused," the good feeling is likely to be "clear"; if the not-good feeling is "sad," the good feeling is usually "happy;" if the not-good feeling is "trapped," the good feeling is usually "free;" if the not-good feeling is "stressful," the good feeling is likely to be "peaceful" or "relaxed" or "calm." And on and on, so that the feeling chosen to identify the positive opposite is close to the meaning of the opposite of the not-wanted feeling.
When I'm guiding a client to find the positive opposite of a feeling, I'm certainly not looking for a dictionary-approved antonym. My intention with this empowering practice, is to help a client to identify a place to move from a not-wanted feeling to a wanted feeling of the client's choosing. I'm a guide in this process, so I'm not trying to direct a person to a certain place. I ask because I want to know where the person desires to move so that I can identify that vibration and assist the person there.
Like the friend I mentioned above, I am one who chooses the same good-feeling answer to essentially every not-good feeling I feel. My positive opposite is "happy." Sometimes I answer a different feeling, but the feeling I most want to feel is happy. This is a happiness that comes from inside me, which has little to do with anything external. After much practice with this positive opposite process, I can usually move from any not-good feeling to happiness in a matter of seconds. Not always, but usually.
Consider.... What is a not-good feeling that you often encounter, and what, for you, is its positive opposite? When you know these two feelings, you then can more easily choose where you want to be.
Copyright 2006 Marshall House
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