How Can I Stop Feeling Jealous?

"I know that my boyfriend loves me, but he has a lot of women friends. I don't get why he has to have so many women friends. I get scared and jealous when he spends time with another woman. I know I should trust him, but I don't, and I don't know what to do about this."

"My wife is a very social person and makes friends easily, with both men and women. I keep feeling that one of these days she is going to meet a man who offers her more than I do. I feel insanely jealous whenever another man even looks at her. What do I do about these feelings?"

I frequently receive emails from people asking how they can stop feeling so jealous.

Jealousy is caused by not knowing who you really are. By who you really are, I mean your true Self, your essence - the soul aspect of you that is created in the image of God. Your essence is a beautiful and perfect individualized expression of the Divine - deeply lovable and loving. But if you don't know your own essence, then you think you are your wounded self.

Your wounded self - your ego - is your conditioned, programmed self. This is the self we developed as we were growing up to try to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. Our wounded self may be insecure, angry, depressed, anxious, controlling, weak, addicted, and judgmental. Our wounded self is generally not very lovable. When someone loves us, it is our essence that they love, not our wounded self. However, while people who love you see your essence, you might not. If your parents were unable to see your essence because they could not see their own, then you grew up thinking that your essence is unworthy and that you are your wounded self. There is no way to feel secure when you think you are your wounded self.

Healing jealousy means that you need to learn to see and value your beautiful essence. When you know and cherish your essence, then you know why your partner loves you - and your fears of being replaced go away.

How do you get to know your own essence? We cannot see our essence through the eyes of our wounded self. Our wounded self sees ourselves through the filter of others' perceptions of us, so we may end up seeing ourselves in the distorted way our parents, other caregivers, siblings, peers, teachers, religious leaders, or relatives may have seen us as children.

In order to know your own essence, you need to be able to see yourself from a higher perspective - from the eyes of your Higher Self, your older wise Self. Right now, imagine an older, very wise part of you that can see the truth of who you are. Imagine this part of you looking at you a small child - before you developed much of your wounded self. What are you like? Are you loving, kind, alive, and curious? You might have to go back to seeing yourself as a baby, or even before you came into the world. Go back as far as you need to, to see the essence of you - the truth of who you are.

If you practice Inner Bonding® and learn to embrace the truth of who you are, and begin to treat yourself as you would treat any lovable and cherished being (such as you might treat your children or a pet), you would start to feel much more lovable and secure. When you do this long enough and consistently enough, you will discover that you no longer feel jealous!

Listed below are more articles related to the above article from the "Relationships" article category.

People interested in the above article "How Can I Stop Feeling Jealous?" are also interested in the related articles listed below:

What To Do When There Is No Romance In Relationships

Are you in a relationship where there is no romance? If so, this is no time to think about leaving; if you love the person. When there is no romance in your relationship, you must ask yourself what went wrong. For all genuine relationships to kick off there is romance involved and, it is until later in the relationship that the romance is lost.

Reasons Why You Need to Keep No Contact Rule

If you have done your own research on how long you should wait before contacting your ex, you probably have seen the no contact rule for at least a month. Why is the reason this rule repeated so often? There are many reasons why following this rule is effective and it’s important that you stick with it.

Move Past a Breakup - Why You Need to Feel Better

When you are suffering the after effects of a break up, you might turn to very negative items, such as drugs or alcohol, to help you through the rough times and move past a breakup. Before you go down this path, it’s important to find the healthy outlets to help you soothe those feathers that were ruffled by the breakup. Healthy outlets won’t destroy you but can help you to move past the anger you feel after your breakup.

2 Harmful Mistakes That Follows Breakups

When you have been told by your boyfriend/girlfriend that they don’t love you any longer the only option you have is to breakup, it can feel as if your world has been shattered and torn to pieces. You may find it difficult to make sensible choices. You may not care about anything other than doing stupid things to salvage the relationship. You think that life is out to get you and you become quite susceptible to the outside world’s influences. If you want to avoid becoming a victim and work to win your ex back, steer clear of these two harmful mistakes which people tend to make.

Why You Won't Win Back Your Girlfriend When You Are Living Together

Space is not given when exes live together. It is a must that a couple separates completely from one another’s lives to move on. Doing this gives you both the time to think and time to spend with other people who care about you. If you want to win back your girlfriend, you have to give each other space away from each other.

Want Someone Back: Why Extra Attention Won't Work For You

If this is you, then the only thing you should be willing to do is give that person the space they need for a small amount of time. However, many people mistakenly believe that being there every time their ex turns around is a good thing. This is completely false.

Can You Still Win Your Ex Back When You Cheated?

There is no one definitive plan to win back your ex but it takes time. If the person suddenly leaves after finding out their spouse cheated, that doesn’t mean the feelings they had went away too. It just means they need some space to figure things out for themselves.