How To Be A Good Mother

 By: Michael Ringwood
Mothers are mothers. It is we who often question their goodness. But actually in real life mothers are the birth givers, next to gods. Though all these sounds a little clichè(c), how much we adore them or snap at them when in bad mood, do they really leave us ever? They don't, when they do... that is the time of utter emergency! Children are one of the most necessary parts kept under care and therefore taken out of their bodies. The nine-month abdominal pain that mothers face are one of the most crudest, torturing and toughest challenge of one's life. Remember the pregnancy pain was not a boon but a curse from God to Eve. When we sit with loads of snacks and drinks and involve in our so called intellectual discussion about who is a bad mom and who is good... do we consider all these? Do we acknowledge her dedication?

"I never realized how much a baby would change my life. I didn't know I could love her so much. I worry all the time if I'm taking good care of her. She's growing and getting stronger so I must be doing something right!" says Becka Roberts, a 29 year old mother from California. These confusions occur to junior mothers. During first pregnancy would be moms are generally nervous to take up any experiments. They devoutly follow everything what their elders ask them to do. Basically it is unfortunate that every mother of this universe do not share the similar fate, therefore many of them suffer from severe diseases and even die during pregnancy due to loss of appetite. Though this is not an issue for first nation countries. Frankly speaking there is no parameter to judge who is a good mom and who is not, because all mothers in the world are necessarily loving, caring, possessive, affectionate. To become a good mother it means to become a mother, either you are a good mother or you are not a mother. Because a bad mother probably is not a considerable thought, you can't even find it in the devil's dictionary.

Some researchers have researched throughly about this debate. Researcher Kelly Jo Murphy says, in her article entitled, 'You Are a Good Enough Mom, Right Now!' She has asked few questions that may arise in a child's mind and even in an adult thought process. Questions like, "Are you the kind of mom who likes to get out and be on the go? Or are you the kind of mom who likes quiet time at home? Are you the kind of mom who encourages creativity in your children? Or are you the kind of mom who shows your children the practical, hands-on stuff of the world?Are you the kind of mom who fosters your children's intellectual pursuits? Or the kind of mom who is likely to initiate a heart-to-heart talk? Are you the kind of mom who goes with the flow in the moment? Or the kind of mom who likes to have some structure to your day?" often bother people and even question over an ideal motherhood. Showing these debates Murphy assures mothers with her truest words, "If you believe that you are not good enough, your children will pick up on that thought and believe they are not good enough either. Is that what you want? I didn't think so. So, you have to believe in yourself right now. I am a good enough mom. I am a great mom, being myself. I am the perfect mom for my children right now."

Since the days of yore till today, the Oedipus's tales "Motherhood" had often become a debatable issue. But does this really means, Jocasta was a bad mother, Kaikeyi was a revengeful mother and wanted all sorts of bad things for her children! All the bookish bad mothers are actually bound by their misfortune, their unprecedented destiny. If you haven't read Toni Morrison's Beloved, you really can not understand how misfortune a mother can be that she even happens to become the killer of her own child. In real life too, we come across mothers who punish their children very often and restrict their lives from all sorts of luxury, we blindly call them bad mothers, but have we really questioned why she is doing so? What are the circumstances leading her to do so? Fact often, is not our cup of tea. But the fact remains The Fact, which says, The idea of the perfect mom is gone. It is time to replace it with the idea of the perfect you. The best you can do is your best, until you decide to do better. And then it is your choice, not the choice of a "should" or a "mother-in-law" or "your neighbor" or even your "spouse".
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Article Tags: mother, motherhood, mom, children

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