No doubt you have heard many songs in your life where the artist proclaims effusive love for his or her intended object of affection. A common thread is the urgency. They have to be together now because all those wonderful feelings (or lust) cannot be put off any longer.
While it sounds pretty good within the confines of a recording studio, the same cannot necessarily be said when it comes to online dating. For many people using an online dating service the rush by their cyber date to hook up immediately if not sooner sends out a message that could have a negative impact on the budding relationship.
Your strong desire to have that first face to face meeting may be nothing more than natural attraction and curiosity. Unfortunately the person on the other end of that internet connection does not see it that way. Your push to hook up strikes them as desperation or worse.
Chill and try to keep a few things in perspective
1. Keep Building
If you meet someone online and you both start hitting it off then do your best to continue growing the relationship. Don't press for a hook up after only a few online chats. Get to know each other much more that you already do and establish a comfort level. There is no set number of times that you chat and then decide it's time to go out. It all comes down to intuition, the history of your previous conversations and how at ease you both feel.
2. Your Tone
The stories are out there when it comes to on line dating scams or predators who want to drag someone into their own personal insane asylum. You are the furthest thing from either group but it's important to monitor the types of questions you are asking as well as the direction of the conversations. Pressing for that first online date or asking questions that get way to personal and suggestive may cause your cyber date to end all communication with you.
It doesn't mean that you walk around blind. Of course you must know something about the other person before you decide to take things further. A helpful hint is just to see where the conversations are going and slip in an occasional question that is all part of the give and take you have established. It doesn't come out of the blue but it does act as an extension to what the other person has already expressed. Stay away from turning your question into an excuse to cross exam your cyberdate. Unless they want to explore it further let it go. You got your answer so move on to other terrain.
3. The Never Ending Chat
Building a strong foundation so as to make the transition to the offline world much smoother and worry free is one thing but that does not mean you have to waste your time with someone who has no intention to ever meet you face to face. It could be that they just wanted someone to talk to or that they are playing games with you. They like getting you all excited about hooking up but every time it seems like this is it, they find some way to get out of it.
Patience is one thing but you don't need someone who is constantly jerking your emotional chain. Your time is valuable and your goal is to meet someone who you are compatible with. For this reason do not spread yourself too thin. If the other person wants to play games so be it but they are going to have to find someone else to manipulate.
To get the most out of your on line dating experience don't put so much pressure on yourself. It's a given that you want to meet someone but there are some quality people online and establishing friendships could help you in some capacity later on down the road. Enjoy the journey and meeting that special someone will happen sooner than you think.
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