Take the Walking on Eggshells Quiz

It's not breaking the eggs that does the lasting harm; it's the continual walking eggshells. Emotional damage has a way of lingering in the times between resentful, angry, or abusive flare-ups. The empty, dull ache of unhappiness is most accurately measured in the accumulative effect of these small moments of disconnection, isolation, and dread.

The following quiz reveals what it feels like to walk on eggshells day after day. Read it aloud - the objectivity in hearing your own voice say the words - especially your answers - is the first step toward healing.

Walking on Eggshells Quiz
Please put a check mark next to your answer.

I am anxious, nervous, or worried about my partner's:

Attitude
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Resentment
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Anger
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Sarcasm
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Criticism
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Glares
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Frowns
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Gestures (like finger-pointing, making a fist)
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Chilly moods
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Cold shoulders
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Stonewalling
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Do I edit my thoughts before I speak and second-guess my behavior before I do anything, in fear that it might "set him off" or cause "the silent treatment?"
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Is he fine one minute and into a tirade the next, all seemingly over nothing or about the same thing over and over?
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Do I feel tense when I hear the door open or when he comes into the room? When I walk by him, do my shoulders tense, until we get past one another?
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Do I think that if I just tried harder things might be all right?
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Do I feel that that nothing I do is good enough?
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Is my marriage in a cold stand-off (disagreements are minimal, but there's a chilly wall between us)?
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

Are my defensiveness and other reactions to him on "automatic pilot," like they just happen on their own?
Never ____Sometimes____Most of the time____

If you live with a resentful, angry, or abusive partner, you probably have a vague feeling, at least now and then, that you have lost yourself. In your constant efforts to tiptoe around someone else's moods in the hope of avoiding blow-ups, put-downs, criticism, sighs of disapproval, or cold shoulders, you constantly edit what you say. You second-guess your own judgment, your own ideas, and your own preferences about how to live. You begin to question what you think is right and wrong. Ultimately, your perceptions of reality and your very sense of self change for the worse.

The cold fact is that it's hard not to lose yourself in the morass of what you should say or what you need to do (to keep things peaceful) and how you're supposed to be at any given moment. If you have to be one thing one minute and behave a different way in another (depending on your partner's moods), your confidence and sense of self can seem to disappear. You begin to feel that you cannot reclaim yourself or begin to feel better until he changes and starts treating you better.

The understandable but tragic expectation that you are dependent on him for your emotional well being is the first thing you must change. You must heal and grow, whether or not he changes. Although our inborn sense of fairness and justice tells you that he ought to be the one to make changes, your pain tells you that you need to become the fully alive person you are meant to be. This means that you have to remove the focus from him and put it squarely on you. Happily, that is also the best thing you can do the help him and your relationship. This book will help you reclaim your true sense of self. That is its primary goal. But it will also help change your relationship.

Listed below are more articles related to the above article from the "Empowerment" article category.

People interested in the above article "Take the Walking on Eggshells Quiz" are also interested in the related articles listed below:

Improve Your Psychological Health Using Subliminal Techniques

Subliminal messages were prohibited on radio and TV as early as 1974 by the Government of the USA. These were previously used to increase the sales of popcorn by almost 62 percent. This is a topic in a number of Derren Brown "mind" shows that are broadcast around the world. But in spite of all these media build-up, subliminal messages continue to be widely used by advertisers, not merely to entice us with the purchase of yet another can of coke, but to actually change the way we live.

Self-Esteem and Confidence - Reinventing Yourself Through Inner Strength

We have all felt those moments when we doubt ourselves, usually when someone has made a judgement about what we have done or said. We have all felt rejection. We have all been made fun of - the focus of some ridiculous comment, joke or situation. When that happens, what goes through your mind?

Creative Visualization Demystified

Creative visualization is the fundamental technique underlying reality creation. It is the process of using your thought power to consciously imagine, create and attract to yourself that which you desire in your life. Mastering creative visualization grants you direct control over your thoughts at the subconscious level. While there are several ways to programme the subconscious mind, visualization is the most effective and its results the most rapid.

How To Beat Failure And Reach Your True Potential?

In our minds we limit ourselves according to our surroundings. Our senses tell us we are limited by natural events. We can’t fly, walk on water, etc. but natural forces pertain only to material undertakings. We place ourselves in a rigid environment and believe we are also rigid, the truth is, thought has no limitations.

How Would Spiritual Awaking Affect You?

Every spiritual journey begins with the precept that all possibilities exist at all times. God’s creation includes spirit where possibilities await discovery and become observable as experience. All that exist is for experience for without experience nothing can be verified. It is through the experience of mankind that all things become reality to the human intellect.

Self-Help: Healing Your Broken Heart

Do you feel broken-hearted yet another time due to the break-up of a relationship, or due to your partner not giving you what you want? Discover that this may not be the actual cause of your heartbreak! Haley, 38, consulted with me because her boyfriend had just broken up with her. Shocked and broken-hearted, she tearfully told me about how wonderful he was and about how she didn't know how she could survive this break up.

Do You Lead an Adrenaline Lifestyle?

What is an adrenaline lifestyle? Are you letting adrenaline carry you through your life? Adrenaline is a source of energy, produced by the body. It is the chemical produced in "fight or flight" responses... more