Article Sphere Logo  
 
"Communication Training" Article
 Article Directory Home Self Improvement Communication Training

The Power of Words - How to Avoid Stomping on Personal and Customer Relationships
Expert Author: Sandy Reed | Submitted: 2007-08-18 | Word Count: 1195 words | Views: 27 view(s) [View Summary]
Sandy Reed
The power of the word is real whether or not you are conscious of it.

Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Behind every word flows energy.

Sonia Choquette

One of the most profound powers we have, in our business or personal life, is the power of speech. The way we talk to people, and ourselves, shapes our relationships; and these relationships shape our world.

When you speak to someone in a gentle, loving tone of voice, you will most likely receive a gentle, loving response - and build a relationship of caring and trust. When you talk to someone in a condescending manner, being sarcastic, hateful, or just plain nasty, you will probably get back the same.

I had an experience recently with the latter situation. I'm in the process of setting up a new blog in WordPress for Inner Clarity. I chose a web hosting company based on a recommendation from another coach. This whole blog scenario and its set-up is new to me, so I've been getting a lot of mental exercise learning about cpanel, Fantastico, and MySQL, etc. Sounds like a foreign language, doesn't it?

I've been working my way through the steps of learning this new language, so I can create my blog, without much support except online documentation. When I had questions for my new web hosting company, I expected help - not ridicule. In the beginning they were somewhat helpful, but obviously irritated about my lack of experience. As time went on, and other issues came up, they became downright condescending in our email communications. Every day I dreaded having to contact them about any questions or concerns I might have encountered.

This whole situation came to a climactic end when I asked them to make a change in my domain name set-up. As a result of the change they made, I lost all the work I had already entered into WordPress. They didn't inform me at any time that this was a possibility. Nonetheless, they managed to make it appear that the loss of data was my own fault, and had nothing to do with the changes they made.

It seemed that the words they used and the tone of their emails were geared towards making me feel inadequate and ignorant - and they succeeded! While their evaluation of my skill level, at that point, may have been accurate, that is certainly not the way to keep customers - not to mention get referrals. It became crystal clear that this was not a company I wanted to deal with on an ongoing basis, so I cancelled my account with them. My only regret is that I didn't cancel it sooner...

What's the point of this story? If you want to build a successful business, be aware of the impact your words have on your customers and the people who support you. If you're trying to irritate your clients so they'll move on, then the condescending, sarcastic words and tone of voice may be appropriate. But if you want to have happy customers and support people, you probably want to take a different tactic.

Here are 3 tips for choosing the right words to fit your situation.

1. Use the "positivity sandwich". When you have a need to correct someone, express disappointment, or give feedback, use the "positivity sandwich". This is a term coined by Dale Carnegie; author of the classic "How to Win Friends and Influence People". This concept operates on the basic premise that you can tell anyone anything if you sandwich it between two positive statements.

When using the positivity sandwich, the ACT with Tact approach may be helpful. ACT is an acronym for Appreciate, Correct (or Communicate), and Thank. In the book by Linda Kavelin Popov, "A Pace of Grace", she writes about the ACT with Tact approach for giving feedback about sensitive situations. Here's an example.

My ex-web hosting company could have said something like, "I appreciate and understand you're trying to learn something new. Why don't you try doing it this way? We value your business". Can you imagine what a different relationship we would have had!

2. Use the "Would you be willing" approach. When there's something you want, but don't quite know how to get it without offending the other person and starting an argument, try asking them "would you be willing to..." This is an approach used by Marshall Rosenburg, in his enlightening work on Nonviolent Communication. When you use this gentle approach to a sensitive situation, it shows you are caring and considerate of the other person's feelings and whatever may be going on in their life. In this way, you can ask for what you want without criticizing, condemning, or complaining. Just be sure you're using a tone of voice that says you're being sincere in your request.

3. What do you say when you talk to yourself? You tend to show the world the feelings you have inside of you. If you're being critical and condemning yourself on a regular basis, it's tough to be in a state of graciousness to others. The solution to self-criticism is to catch yourself when that internal critic takes over, STOP it in its tracks, and instead look for things you have done right - things that you can appreciate about yourself. Elevate your negative self-talk to, "I know how to do this", or "I'm clear about the next logical step to take", or "I know I can figure out how to....", etc.

We all have our unique approaches to life. Just because your internal guidance led you to do something a particular way, and someone else did it differently, doesn't mean you were wrong. It just means you're different. We need different viewpoints and creations in this world. Be willing to give up the self-criticism and celebrate your uniqueness. Don't get hung up on the "good opinion of others". Here's a wonderful quote that expresses the beauty of diversity.

"You don't get harmony when everyone sings the same note." - Doug Floyd

The power of your words, whether external or internal, shapes your world and carries over into your physical and emotional state of being. Your internal critic may be replaying those critical and condemning words you heard as a child. These are the words you came to believe because other people were describing you to you, and we tend to believe other people more than we believe ourselves - especially as a small child. You can learn to replace these hurtful words with words of love and support for yourself.

If you're having a challenge in your life, whether it is health, finances, personal, or business; look to see if your words are supporting or hindering your progress towards your goals. You may find the answer to your challenges just by listening to what you say when you talk to yourself.

About the Author

Sandy Reed, Certified Life Coach, ex-corporate manager, and small business owner, is the coach to call for support when you're ready to break out of the corporate prison, and create a life of freedom and flexibility. Visit her website at www.innerclaritylifecoaching.com for more tools and information and to sign-up for her free mini-ecourse "7 Steps to Personal Power".

Article Source: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/The-Power-of-Words---How-to-Avoid-Stomping-on-Personal-and-Customer-Relationships/98719

 
Article Tags: self improvement, communication training, language, words, power, customer relationships, business communication, tone of voice, listen, business relationships, customer service
 
 
This article has been viewed 27 times.

More "Communication Training" Related Articles

 

Listed below are more articles related to the above article from the "Communication Training" article category.

People interested in the above article "The Power of Words - How to Avoid Stomping on Personal and Customer Relationships" are also interested in the related articles listed below:

Expert Author: Michael Lee | Submitted: 2008-07-10 | Word Count: 310 | Views: 7
We might not notice it, but it’s quite hard to look for the right words to use as conversation starters when talking to people you barely know. It’s quite easy to start one with friends and family, but we are usually tongue-tied when it comes to strangers. You need to say the right conversation starters to catch their attention, as well as turning the communication process into an interesting one.
Expert Author: Michael Lee | Submitted: 2008-07-07 | Word Count: 376 | Views: 11
Some people think that using persuasion techniques is the same as manipulating someone to get what they want. However, manipulation is different from persuasion. Persuasion techniques are used to influence people to your way of thinking, but they should not force anyone to do something they don’t like. Manipulation is tricking others, oftentimes in a self-serving manner.
Expert Author: Michael Lee | Submitted: 2008-07-03 | Word Count: 370 | Views: 7
It's another celebration in the conference room. Apparently, your colleague Jack has once again sealed a crucial deal with a very important client. You walk over to congratulate him, all the while wondering how Jack does what he does. Everybody else is probably thinking of the same thing. What does Jack have that the rest of you don't?
Expert Author: Michael Lee | Submitted: 2008-06-30 | Word Count: 363 | Views: 7
Mind control techniques have become the new art of persuasion. These techniques help you get what you want, without necessarily having to subject someone under a spell. When someone speaks of mind control techniques, you might immediately envision a strange, bearded man with a pendulum. However, these days, it’s not really just a circus act anymore.
Expert Author: Jennie Gandhi | Submitted: 2008-06-30 | Word Count: 391 | Views: 18
People cannot not communicate... the fact is that the way one communicates reflects one's innermost self, one's skills, one's confidence. Good and free communication in a team or between two people is therapeutic. To learn more on good communication and team works read this article.
Expert Author: Michael Lee | Submitted: 2008-06-29 | Word Count: 359 | Views: 48
Don’t you just envy how some people seem to get their way more often than not? These people always seem to have all the right words and all the right moves. However, if you take the time to actually study these people, you may be surprised to discover that they have more than just a few persuasion techniques in common. Read this article to discover how to tap into this extraordinary power.
Expert Author: Michael Lee | Submitted: 2008-06-22 | Word Count: 418 | Views: 36
Conversational hypnosis techniques are different from what you are used to seeing on TV, wherein a person can only be hypnotized with the use of swinging pendulums and other paraphernalia. In fact, you can use its covert power to persuade anyone without them even knowing it.

 View Popular Communication Training Articles | View Top Communication Training Authors
Article Directory Home Self Improvement Communication Training

Can't find what you're looking for? Try Google Search!
(Search in 23 languages: English, Spanish, Japanese, Arabic, Italian, German,
Chinese Simplified, Chinese Traditional, Dutch, Korean, Portuguese, Russian, Greek,
Swedish, Romanian, Polish, Norwegian, Finnish, Danish, Czech, Croatian, Bulgarian)
 
 
(We serve worldwide - Locations updated as at Saturday, 19 July 2008 01:12 pm , Singapore)
United States of America, USA . United Kingdom, UK (England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland) . Canada . Afghanistan . Albania . Algeria . American Samoa . Andorra . Angola . Anguilla . Antarctica . Antigua & Barbuda . Argentina . Armenia . Aruba . Australia . Austria . Azerbaijan . Bahamas . Bahrain . Bangladesh . Barbados . Belarus . Belgium . Belize . Benin . Bermuda . Bhutan . Bolivia . Bonaire . Bosnia-Herzegovina . Botswana . Brazil . British Virgin Islands . Brunei Darrusalam . Bulgaria . Burkina Faso . Burundi . Cambodia . Cameroon . Cape Verde . Cayman Islands . Central African Republic . Chad . Channel Islands . Chile . China . Christmas Island . Colombia . Comoros . Congo . Congo (Dem. Rep.) . Cook Islands . Costa Rica . Côte d'Ivoire . Croatia . Cuba . Curacao . Cyprus . Czech Republic . Denmark . Djibouti . Dominica . Dominican Republic . East Timor . Ecuador . Egypt . El Salvador . Equatorial Guinea . Eritrea . Estonia . Ethiopia . Falkland Islands and Dependencies . Faroe Islands . Fiji . Finland . France . French Guiana . French Polynesia . Gabon . Gambia . Gaza . Georgia . Germany . Ghana . Gibraltar . Greece . Greenland . Grenada . Guadeloupe . Guam . Guatemala . Guinea . Guinea-Bissau . Guyana . Haiti . Hawaiian Islands . Honduras . Hong Kong . Hungary . Iceland . India . Indonesia . Iran . Iraq . Isle Of Man . Israel . Italy . Ivory Coast . Jamaica . Japan . Johnston Atoll . Jordan . Kazakhstan . Kenya . Kiribati . Korea (North) . Korea (South) . Kuwait . Kyrgyzstan . Laos . Latvia . Lebanon . Leeward Islands . Lesotho . Liberia . Libya . Liechtenstein . Lithuania . Luxembourg . Macau . Macedonia . Madagascar . Malawi . Malaysia . Maldives . Mali . Malta . Marshall Islands . Martinique . Mauritania . Mauritius . Mexico . Micronesia (Federated States) . Midway Islands . Moldova . Monaco . Mongolia . Montserrat . Morocco . Mosquito Coast . Mozambique . Myanmar (Burma) . Namibia . Nauru . Navassa Island . Nepal . Netherlands . Netherlands Antilles . New Caledonia . New Zealand . Nicaragua . Niger . Nigeria . Niue . Norfolk Island . Northern Mariana Islands . Norway . Oman . Pakistan . Palau . Palestine . Panama . Papua New Guinea . Paracel Islands . Paraguay . Peru . Philippines . Pitcairn Islands . Poland . Portugal . Puerto Rico . Qatar . Reunion . Romania . Russia . Rwanda . Ryukyu Islands . Saint Helena . Saint Kitts and Nevis . Saint Lucia . Saint Pierre & Miquelon . Saint Vincent & The Grenadines . Samoa . San Marino . São Tom?& Príncipe . Saudi Arabia . Senegal . Serbia . Seychelles . Sierra Leone . Singapore . Slovakia . Slovenia . Solomon Islands . Somalia . South Africa . Spain . Sri Lanka . Sudan . Suriname . Swaziland . Sweden . Switzerland . Syria . Taiwan . Tajikistan . Tanzania . Thailand . Togo . Tonga . Transkei . Trinidad & Tobago . Tunisia . Turkey . Turkmenistan . Turks and Caicos Islands . Tuvalu . US Virgin Islands . Uganda . Ukraine . United Arab Emirates . Upper Volta . Uruguay . Uzbekistan . Vanuatu . Vatican City (Holy See) . Venezuela . Vietnam . Wake Island . Windward Islands . Yemen . Yugoslavia . Zaire . Zambia . Zimbabwe
Copyright © 2005 - by Larry Lim, Singapore - Article Search Engine Directory at ArticleSphere.com™
All Rights Reserved Worldwide. All Trademarks and Servicemarks are the property of the respective owners.
Template Design by Larry Lim | Internet Marketing
Français/French Español/Spanish 日本語/Japanese [أربيك]/Arabic Italiano/Italian Deutsch/German 汉语/Chinese Simplified 漢語/Chinese Traditional Nederlands/Dutch 한국어/Korean Port /Portuguese Русско/Russian
Ελληνικά/Greek Swedish Roman?/Romanian Polski/Polish Norwegian Suomi/Finnish Dansk/Danish ?esky/Czech Hrvatski/Croatian §¢§ì§Ý§Ô§Ñ§â§ã§Ü§Ú/Bulgarian English - Original language