I am a big game show enthusiast. I love watching all the old favorites: The Price is Right, Let’s Make a Deal, and even reruns of the Gong Show.
One day I was chillin’ at the pad and it suddenly hit me - why shouldn’t I be a contestant? It would be a dream come true and there would be a chance for instant fame and even a jackpot of prizes.
So the next time my favorite came show “So You Want to Win a Corvette” came to town, I was first in line and sure enough I was selected! I used all my wiles and guiles answering question after question until I came to the final round. The host looked me in the eye and asked me the difficult jackpot question:
“General Motors produces the Corvette under which brand?”
I racked my brains for 10 straight minutes but finally spoke up in a trembling voice:
“Chevrolet?”
The audience roared with excitement and confetti rained down upon the set.
I had won a fully equipped ‘vette of my own!
I parked the beauty in my driveway and went inside to watch some TV. I felt quite content as I flipped through the channels—after all I had a sportscar of my own and thus a place of honor among the big ballers.
At 11:00pm the local news came on with a special alert. A rare bird had escaped from the zoo earlier that evening and was on the loose somewhere in my part of town. The bird was easily recognized by its colorful plumage and acidic droppings. I started to doze off as the anchorman’s words echoed through my head....acidic droppings...acidic droppings...
I woke with a start in the midst of a nightmare.
“Acidic droppings!” I shrieked. “Nooooooo!”
I leapt off the sofa and ran out the door. There in the driveway sat my beloved prize, but there was something wrong. The entire car was sizzling and giving off smoke from its surfaces. I heard a loud ‘squawk’ and beheld the culprit taking wing after so devastatingly performing its unholy act.
It took a fortune to restore the car to its former glory, but I learned my lesson and bought a car cover. Though perhaps nothing in the world would protect against unprovoked acts of bird, a car cover it would surely keep my Corvette safe from the normal elements in the future.
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