Surprisingly few of us know how to give feedback in just the right way. Many conflicts begin simply because feedback was given and taken inappropriately. Giving feedback well is a simple six step technique you can master in a few minutes and use to a great benefit any time. Learn how it works, try it for a few days and you will see for yourself the difference it makes in your relationships.
The how-to guide to the most common and deadly decision traps, and how to avoid them. Even if you are very good at decision making, it's important to watch out for a handful of places where most people consistently make mistakes. I will point out two of them today, explain how to sidestep each one and top it off with a simple way to turn hesitation into decisiveness.
The how-to guide to THE single most important ability you have as a human being - extraordinary decision making.
Much more fascinating and surprising to me was the discovery that the space around my body is asymmetrical, and my left space is vastly different from my right space. I started noticing which side I presented to people and how they reacted. I noticed I had a strong preference to stand sideways during the conversation, as if we were pressing our backs against the two walls near the corner, with the other person on my right.
What is responsibility and why is it important? Response-ability is very simply your ability to respond to the world. Whenever you claim responsibility, your claim your power to do, to influence, to act, to change. Whenever you deny responsibility, you deny your power to respond, leaving yourself powerless.
Today I continue the topic of creating extraordinary relationships by examining something that happens to all of us every day, yet something that only rarely people are skilled at - communicating negative emotions well.
The simplest way to maintain a wonderful relationship is to create just a few positive anchors. And the easiest way to screw up your relationship is to create just a few negative relationship anchors. Most people, being unaware of how anchoring works, habitually set negative anchors that wreck their relationships.
How many hot buttons do you have? By our latest calculations, each one of us has over one million unmarked hot buttons wired up into our bodies and minds. If you think some people are good at pushing your hot buttons - guess what? They know only a handful! Imagine what your life would be like if they learned all of them. Or, how about if *you* knew all of your own hot buttons.
Expert Author: Arman Darini, Ph.D. | Category: Empowerment A simple, almost trivial, yet immensely powerful way to empower every relationship you have is to change just one habit. The Habit of the First Meaning. What is the first place that you look for the meaning to understand what people do and say?
A man says to his wife after a fight: "Let's figure out how we can salvage this relationship." A president tells his employees: "Our new vision is to stick to brutal facts and to weather the truth." A parent instructs his son: "If you are as good as your brother, I will love you just as much." Are you hearing the hidden messages inside these lines?
Do you enjoy being flattered or do you feel self conscious when someone applauds your talents, your identity, your actions: "You are a wonderful speaker!" "You are beautiful!" "You can make really good jokes!" There are three ways to handle a compliment - acceptance, rejection, redirection. Most people do not know how to accept a compliment, instead they reject or redirect it.
Where do you think you end? Inside your head, at the outer edge of your skin or three feet outward into the space around your body? Your sense of personal boundaries subtly influences every interaction you have with the world. If you live in a large city, you are likely to have very slim personal boundaries, while if you were on a farm, they would be quite wide.
Status signals developed millions of years ago as a way of communicating the pecking order without getting into a fight. You can observe them easily in any pack mammal. The signals are tied directly to showing fear or fearlessness. Status is basically territorial, so a one sentence answer to increasing your status is to take more space, and to lowering your status is to take less space.
All human interactions are governed by the continual adjustment of status. Status is the currency of human communication. Most people are constantly and unconsciously engaged in status wars and are highly skilled at it. Such wars can be fought for either a higher status (natural leaders) or for a lower status (victims).
The world memory champion can memorize 170 names and faces in 15 minutes. Yet many people cannot recall a single name thirty seconds after hearing it. If we stay conservative for a moment and assume that remembering 170 names is the best people will ever be able to do, it should still be a piece of cake to remember one name of a person who just introduced herself to you three minutes ago. Right?
Do you ever get stuck in a mental rut? Is there some state of mind that visits you occasionally and you have a hard time getting out of it? It might be sadness, melancholy, anxiety, depression, anger, or just plain feeling upset. Not to worry, help is only a few glances away - literally! Here is a simple way to get unstuck.
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