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Infidelity Strategy: How and When to Wait Strategija nevjera: Kako i kada čekati

By Expert Author: Robert Huizenga Uz stručni Autor: Robert Huizenga
View Summary | Submitted: 2008-01-14 | Word Count: 660 words | Views: 136 view(s) Pogledaj Sažetak | Predao: 2008-01-14 | Word Count: 660 riječi | Pregleda: 136 pogled (a)
Robert Huizenga
OK, so you discovered the marital infidelity. U redu, pa se otkrio bračno nevjernost. What do you do? Što učiniti? Do you rage, threaten, plead and beg? Da li bijes, prijetiti, braniti i prositi? Do you try to be nice and accommodating with the hope this will help him/her come to his/her senses? Da li pokušati biti ljubazan i lijepo s nadom će to pomoći mu / joj dolazi na njegov / njezin čula? Or do you do something else? Ili se to učiniti nešto drugo?

These are hugely important questions that impact the course of your healing and your capacity to change the flow of the affair, if indeed, it can be changed. Ovo su grdno važna pitanja koja utječu na tijek Vaše liječenje i Vaš kapacitet za promjenu toka od afera, ako se doista, može se mijenjati. Your goal is to have a sound strategy that will give you most quickly what you really want. Vaš cilj je da imate Zvučne strategije koje će vam dati ono što najviše brzo stvarno želite.

You want no knee-jerk reaction that will dig your hole deeper, do you? Vi ne želite koljeno-zajebavati reakciju koja će Vaše rupu kopaju dublje, zar ne?

And, believe me, the answers to these questions are not clear cut. I, vjerujte mi, odgovore na ta pitanja nisu jasno rez. They are complex. Oni su kompleksna.

Let's talk about waiting. Pričajmo o čeka.

I had a coaching call with Sue (part of my audio tape series) in which Sue described beautifully the three stages of waiting as you cope with marital infidelity. Imala sam poziv treniranju sa Suzana (dio mojih audiovrpca series) u kojima je opisano Suzana lijepo tri faze čeka kao što nositi s bračno nevjernost.

The first waiting is usually for your spouse to change. Prvo èekanju je obično za vaš suprug za promjenu.

You are hoping either that you will wake up and find that this was nothing more than a bad nightmare (part of the shock of discovery) or that s/he will see the error of his/her ways and become sane once again. Vi ste ili u nadi da će pronaći i probuditi se da je to ništa više nego loše strava (dio je šok od otkrića) ili da je to pogreška će vidjeti njegove / njezine putove i postati zdrav opet.

Typically, you focus on your cheating partner and/or the other person. Obično ćete se fokusirati na vaše varanje partnera i / ili druge osobe. That's all you think about. To je sve što mislite o. That's all you feel. To je sve što osjećate. It consumes you! Ona troši vas!

Now let's be realistic here. Sada ćemo biti realni ovdje. If you have a marriage where you are invested, emotionally, financially, etc. it will be next to impossible to avoid this agony. Ako imate svadbu gdje ste ulagali, emotivno, financijski, itd. bit će uz nemoguće izbjeći ova agonija.

Ok, yes, you will go a little bonkers; maybe a lot. Ok, da, od vas će ići malo lud, možda puno. You engage in most of the "Killer Mistakes that prolong the affair and your misery" I outline in my e-course. Vi sudjelovati u većini je "Killer greške koje se produžiti vaš posao i bijeda" ja u opisuju moj e-Naravno. Your minutes are marked by confusion and awful pain. Vaš minuta odlikuje konfuziju i grozna bol.

And then you move to the second phase of waiting: waiting for you to be comfortable enough with you and the situation to do exactly what you need to say and do that will have the greatest benefit for you and the relationship. A onda vas presele u drugoj fazi čekanja: čeka vas bude dovoljno udoban s vama i situaciju učiniti upravo ono što vam je potrebno za reći i to će imati najveće koristi za sebe i odnosa. You get smart. Dobivate pametna.

It begins when you learn that there are 7 kinds of infidelity. On počinje kad ste saznali da postoje 7 vrsta nevjernost. It begins when you discover what it was that drove your spouse to make such a horrible decision. On počinje kad vam otkriti što je to da vaš supružnik odvezli kako bi takva odluka strašno.

It begins when you discover that his/her personal characteristics match exactly the kind of affair s/he is having. Ono počinje kada otkriju da njegove osobne karakteristike odgovaraju točno vrstu veza s / on ima. It begins when you realize that it was HIS/HER decision and had very little to do with you. Ono počinje kada shvate da je to njegov / njezin odluka i imao vrlo malo veze s vama.

It begins when you discover that you are not alone: Thousands of others experience similar pain and in surviving infidelity have created and upgraded very successfully their lives and relationships. Ono počinje kada otkriju da nisu same: Tisuće drugih sličnih iskustva i bol u preživjelim nevjera su stvorili i vrlo uspješno nadogradili svoje živote i odnose.

It begins when you realize the huge reservoir of your personal power you want to unleash. Ono počinje kada shvate ogroman rezervoar za vaše osobne snage želite osloboditi.

As you intentionally charge neutral you find those people important in your life attending to what you say, what you value and what you will not tolerate. Kao što ste namjerno zadužen neutralni ćete naći one važne u vašem životu prisutni na ono što vam kažu, ono što vrijednost i ono što se neće tolerirati.

And then you enter the third phase of waiting: waiting for the infidelity process to work itself to completion. I onda ući u treće faze čeka: čekanje za nevjerovanje proces rada na sebi da se završetak.

From what you've learned about the kinds of infidelity, with great forethought and preparation, you begin to intervene. Od ono što ste naučili o vrstama nevjerovanje, s velikim promišljenost i pripreme, što počnete da intervenira.

You've determined the kind of affair you face and know what best to do and say. Vi ste odredite vrstu stvar koju lice i ono što najbolje znaju raditi i reći. You act and speak with force. Vi djelovati i govoriti sa snagu. S/he truly hears you and you begin to see different responses, different reactions. S / on uistinu čuje li i vi početi vidjeti različite odgovore, različite reakcije.

Knowing the kind of affair, enables you to set a time line. Poznavajući vrstu veza, omogućava vam da namjestite vrijeme linija. You begin to understand and accept the time frame for the process. Vi se početi razumjeti i prihvatiti vremenskog okvira za proces.

You are on the way. Vi ste na putu. You continue to learn. Vi i dalje učiti. You evaluate and construct what you say and what you do to have the most profound impact. Vi ocijenite i izgraditi ono što kažete i ono što čini da su najveći utjecaj duboka.

You begin enjoying yourself. Vi počnete uživati sami. You are no longer concerned about waiting. Vi ste više zabrinuti zbog čekanja. You joyfully discover that your life seems easier, lighter and are surprised by how good you find it. Vi radosno otkriti da je vaš život čini lakšim, lakši i iznenadjen kako dobro ste ga pronađu. You can stand back and marvel at your journey, and yes, even give thanks for where you have been. Možete stajati i diviti se vratiti na put, i da, čak i zahvaljivati za gdje ste bili.

Now, I want you to know that what I've written above is not a pipe dream. Sada, želim da znaju da ono što sam gore napisano nije maštarija. I work with people regularly who move through these stages of waiting. Sam raditi s ljudima koji redovito se kretali kroz ove faze čeka. And, the quicker they start, the faster they move. Ali, oni su brži početak, oni su brže kretati.

About the Author/Author Bio O Autor / Autor Bio

Dr. Robert Huizenga, CSW, LMFT, The Infidelity Coach, is an author, and Marriage and Family Therapist. Dr. Robert Huizenga, CSW, LMFT, a nevjera trener je autor i braku i obitelji terapeut. For the past two decades he has served hundreds of couples , specifically in the area of marital counseling and infidelity . Za posljednja dva desetljeća je služio stotine parova, posebno u području bračno savjetovanje i nevjernost. He is author of "Break Free From The Affair." On je autor "Break Free From The afera". Information on Dr. Huizenga's book and other services is available on his web sites. Informacije o dr Huizenga knjige i druge usluge dostupno je na njegovim web stranicama.

Article Source: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/Infidelity-Strategy--How-and-When-to-Wait/121271 Članak Izvor: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/Infidelity-Strategy--How-and-When-to-Wait/121271

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They say many of us live lives of quiet desperation. Kažu mnogi od nas žive život tiho očajanje. Going to work at a job we hate or getting stuck in a routine that for whatever reason we cannot escape from are good examples of this desperation. Odlazak na posao na posao mi mržnjom ili dobivanje zapinjati u rutinu koja iz bilo kojeg razloga ne možemo pobjeći od dobre primjere ovaj beznadežnost. When it comes to marriage infidelity, there are a lot of cheating spouses that feel the same way. Kada je riječ o braku nevjera, ima puno varanje stupiti u brak da se osjećaju na isti način. They started out loving their significant others with a passion. Oni su se počeli ljubiti njihov značajan drugi s mukom. They vowed to each other that the love would never die. Oni obećao da jedni druge da bi ljubav nikada ne umiru. Indeed for a long while it was exactly like that. Zaista je dugo dok je upravo takav. Everything that happened in and outside of the relationship brought the two of you together. Sve što se dogodilo i izvan odnosa doveo je dva od vas zajedno.
The culture of giving wedding favours is spreading fast, besides traditional styles unique wedding favour ideas are also being appreciated. Kultura davanja vjenčanje je pogoduje širenju brze, osim tradicionalnih stilova jedinstveno vjenčanje korist ideje su se cijeniti. Uniqueness is assured in personalized wedding favours. Jedinstvenost je osiguran u personaliziranu vjenčanje pogoduje. Adding original and exclusive touch to the gift enhances the value of the celebration and the warm approach of the newly-wedded couple. Dodavanje originalnim i isključivo dodirom na dar povećava vrijednost proslave i topla pristup u novo-vjenčan par. The article aims at helping you add that personal touch to these gifts. U članku ima za cilj pomoći Vam da dodate osobni dodir s tim darovima. When you first look for ideas for personalizing your gifts, you fall into an ocean of options. Kada prvi put traže ideje za vaš Prilagodba darova, od vas pasti u ocean mogućnosti. You will find that you don't know exactly how to go about personalising your gifts. Naći ćete da ne znam točno kako ide prilagodba o Vašim darovima. Facing such uncertainties, there are many who altogether discard the idea of personalized wedding favours. Izložen takvih nesigurnosti, postoje mnogi koji su potpuno odbaciti ideju personalizirane vjenčanje pogoduje.
Wedding favours are gifted on the day of the wedding reception or marriage ceremony. Vjenčanje pogoduje darovitih su na dan vjenčanja na recepciji ili brak svečanosti. In the phrase DIY wedding favours, the acronym DIY stands for 'Do It Yourself'. U izrazu DIY vjenčanje pogoduje, akronim stoji za DIY 'to sami'. DIY wedding favours refer to the gifts, which are prepared from the raw materials by the couple with the help of their relatives and friends. DIY vjenčanje pogoduje odnose na poklone, koji su pripremljeni od sirovine do par uz pomoć svog rođaka i prijatelja.
Wedding favours are small gifts presented as mementos to the guests on behalf of the bride at the time of the party or the marriage ceremony, as an expression of appreciation for the relatives and friends for sharing her very special day. Vjenčanje pogoduje su male poklone kao mementos za goste u ime mladenka u vrijeme od strane ili u braku svečanosti, kao izraz priznanje za rođake i prijatelje za dijeljenje joj vrlo poseban dan. Wedding favours are packed in wedding favour boxes to make the presentation not only handy and compact, but also beautiful and attractive. Vjenčanje pogoduje pakirana su u korist vjenčanje kutija za prezentaciju ne samo pri ruci i kompaktan, ali i prekrasne i atraktivne.
Wedding favours are small tokens or souvenirs gifted as a memento to the guests by the newly-married couple at the time of party or the ceremony. Vjenčanje pogoduje su male tokena ili suveniri darovitih kao uspomena za goste uz novo-oženjeni bračni par u vrijeme partije ili svečanosti. Studying the UK wedding favours will help you in selecting wedding favours for your own wedding. Studiranje u Velikoj Britaniji vjenčanje pogoduje će Vam pomoći u odabiru vjenčanje pogoduje za vlastite vjenčanja. Here, we shall focus on the culture of wedding favours in UK, different kinds of UK wedding favours, traditional and DIY styles and how to avail them online. Ovdje ćemo se usredotočiti na kulturu vjenčanja pogoduje u Velikoj Britaniji, različite vrste UK vjenčanje pogoduje, tradicionalne i DIY stilova i kako ih koristiti online. If you have decided to gift UK wedding favour to your guests, the following information will help you in selecting the right thing from the right place at the right time. Ako ste se odlučili na dar Velikoj Britaniji vjenčanje korist svojim gostima, sljedeće informacije pomoći će vam u odabiru prava stvar s pravom mjestu u pravo vrijeme.
Appreciating your guests with wedding favours at the time of marriage party or the ceremony is a way of expressing your gratitude and affection for them. Cijeni svojim gostima s vjenčanja pogoduje u vrijeme braka ili svečanosti je način za izražavanje Vaše zahvalnost i ljubav za njih. The guests will be enthralled with this small token of appreciation from the newly-wed couple. Gosti će biti zanesen s ovim malim znak zahvalnost od novoosnovanih Srijeda par. Couples are constantly on the hunt for unique wedding favour ideas to welcome their guests with a personal touch and flavour. Parove su stalno na lov za jedinstveno vjenčanje korist ideje da dobrodošlice gostima s osobnim dodir i ukus. The path of creativity has too many options and the couples are generally confused on how to devise some unique favours. Put kreativnost ima previše opcija i parovi su obično zbunjeni o tome kako zamišlja neke jedinstvene pogoduje. Here, you will find the top 5 expert tips on how to devise unique wedding favour ideas. Ovdje ćete naći na vrhu 5 stručnih savjeta o tome kako zamišlja jedinstvenu korist ideje za vjenčanje.
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