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  • Getting What You Want In Parenting - Have you ever noticed that everything is a battle with your child? If it is, then one of three things is happening. Your child, you or both are in a competitive need cycle. What is a competitive need cycle? As humans, we are all born with five basic needs that we are genetically programmed to attempt to meet. They are survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun. Without getting into the detail of the developmental model described in Nancy Buck's book, Peaceful Parenting, power and freedom combine to make the competitive need cycle. When people are in a competitive, need cycle they are most strongly driven by the need to gain more power and freedom in their lives. With a parent and child, this is typically represented by the parent refusing to consider to allow their child to do something.
  • The Ultimate Classroom Management Challenge: Teaching In The Hormone Zone - Teachers, it's the ultimate challenge in classroom management, isn't it? If you find it challenging to teach and counsel students suffering from "hormone poisoning," here are some great interventions to help your teens use their heads instead of their hormones. All of these delightfully different methods are taken from Youth Change's Solution Center; there are hundreds more there if you need them: On-the-Job Kissy-Face When kids debate your site's standards regulating romantic contact, inform them that the standards derive from the work world, not your personal preferences. Advise your youngsters that as soon as business work places commonly permit hugging, kissing, etc., you will too.
  • The Unpopular Truth About Building Self-esteem In Children And Teens - At our live workshops, we often get requests for interventions that can enhance self-worth-- and we do have many creative methods for all age levels. However, at class, we always offer a cautionary note: If a child hears at home that they are no good, or the child is called racist names, or is physically assaulted in the community, there is no strategy that can speak louder than that fist, that racist name, or that put-down from home.
  • What To Look For In A Guy: Three Requirements Of A Healthy Relationship - Dear Daughter, What do you look for in a guy? How will you recognize a good relationship? What can you do to help a good relationship develop and grow? Let me give you three things that are necessary for healthy relationships of any kind. These three things are respect, empathy, and genuineness. I believe that you know what is meant by respect. When people have respect for each other they value each other. They want to know each other's needs, thoughts sand opinions. There may be disagreements, but the opposing opinion is respected and even valued, if only because the opinion is important to the other person. This can be hard to do at times. It is related to maturity.
  • Control And Responsibility For Teens - Control and Responsibility Dear Daughter, In an earlier letter we touched on the concepts of control and responsibility. Let's go a little deeper with these important ideas. If you ever find that someone's behavior is "driving you nuts," please slow down and consider the possibility of control issues on your part.
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